To All Mothers and Women

This is a collective note to my beautiful mum, all mothers and women, and to mother nature on this very special Mother’s Day.

What an honour it is to be mothered. I have had the great fortune over my lifetime to have had a mother who adored her role, one could almost say she would have made a great ‘poster girl’ for motherhood. I also have had other ‘mothers’ who came in different roles such as my Italian mamma Popi and another beautiful creative mother/mentor, Marta Innocenti Ciulli.

Each woman mothered a slightly different part of me that needed nurturing and encouraging and allowed those parts to bloom and flourish.

My mother gave the role of being a mother great importance. Mum always said, ‘We are the caretakers of children, we have the joy to look after them till they become adults; they are never ours, they are their own person and one day they will fly away and that’s our role as mothers to let them fly.’

My mother tried to instill in me that instinct that us women are all meant to naturally have, ‘the mothering’ instinct but in my teenage years and my twenties, I flatly refused it or didn’t feel in the slight way connected to it. I saw the responsibility of giving life and being a good mother as something that was terrifying, that it would clip my wings, take away my freedom and not let me live my dreams. It probably had something to do with never finding the right man during those years with whom I felt like I could dream or trust enough, to help me in a process that felt so scary.

I now realise how naïve these thoughts were, as motherhood in itself is the ultimate creative process, one of joy and reward if a woman is brave enough to embrace it. I just never had enough courage and the day I finally did find that courage, my body had moved on.

Over the past couple of months, we have all had a very interesting time and so often I have reached for the phone to call my mother. There is so much solace for me when she answers and though we are far away, it’s ever so comforting to talk about the weather, our days, and what we may be cooking for dinner.

Most days I go in search of the mother or all mothers. Each morning, I walk up the hill in Paris to Buttes Chaumont to find mother nature albeit locked away in these strange days of confinement behind iron gates. It’s been an interesting process to watch mother nature from behind closed gates grow a little wilder. The grass has grown long, the pink frothy blooms have come and gone and been enjoyed only by the birds and other critters in the park having a lark of a time. Her paths are overgrown and she looks a little like all of us who need a good haircut except that this is her natural state. I have loved watching her ‘rewild’ herself, whilst we were all locked out, she dropped her coat of armour and reminds me of a young girl once again dancing in the sunshine with flowers in her hair.

The concept of ‘mothering’ or ‘nurturing’ ourselves has been at the forefront of my mind over the past couple of weeks. The entire process of stillness that this time has imposed upon our busy lives has been a chance to reconnect with our feminine energy, the ‘being’ part of us that is creative, nurturing, intuitive, passive, and open to receiving. A part of us that is often devalued in favour for the doing and productive part that appears to have a much greater value in society.

I recently commented to one of my friends that ‘Maybe this is how our mothers felt,’ that there was no need to rush madly from one thing to the next, to be overachieving and over-producing all the time but to embrace the power of quietness, home, and all the great things that make us women.

I have forgiven the part of me that once unconsciously linked motherhood and our feminine energies and believed they were weak instead of being powerful beyond belief.

So on this very important Mother’s Day, when the world is having its own revolution of what it is and how to be moving forward, I honour my mother, all women, girls, and Mother Earth for sustaining us throughout everything, and I encourage you to connect to the deep inner knowing of what a glorious thing it is to be a girl, a woman, mother (or not) and never forget that part of you.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Carla x

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Kathleen Hurder
Kathleen Hurder
2 years ago

Beautiful! May i quote you to my daughter?

2 years ago

Dear Carla
Thank you – I love this message – thank you for being so wonderfully honest and sharing this with us. I hope that life stays a little slower forever (well at least for a while) as being able to spend time ‘not rushing’ with my little 8 year old son Tom has been a god send – I needed to slow down and breathe and so did he.
Gina xx

2 years ago

Dear Carla you may not have given birth from your body but you’ve given birth to women all over the world in many different ways. You have encouraged us to fly when we weren’t sure we could, have asked us to tap into our creativity when we didn’t think we had any, you’ve asked us to be strong but also allowed us to show vulnerability and you’ve been with us through some difficult personal challenges. So there you are, a mother in the true spirit of its intention. lots of love Caroline

Mithra Ballesteros
2 years ago

Very thought provoking. And I especially appreciate your question at the end – that maybe this colossal collective quietude is exactly what a good mother imposes on her children when they need it. Thank you Carla for sharing!

2 years ago

Beautifully written! I like the word ‘rewild’. You remain an inspiration!