I am so grateful I still have my mum in my late fifties.
I needed to get to this age to really appreciate how great my mum is and all the things she has done for me in my life.
Something happens in your fifties: you become even more curious about the role of motherhood and womanhood and all the women who have come before you in your family that you only know as the faces peering back at you from old photos.
Who were they? What were their hopes and dreams? Which parts of what I believe in were passed down from them, and which parts of their nature and spirit did I inherit?
I have often wondered if Mum’s mothering style is thanks to the women that came before her who too were gentle with her and showed her a path of joy and love for their children?
When I look into those old photos, I ask the women questions and I thank them for passing to Mum her combination of loveliness and can-do attitude, her respect for the great outdoors, nature, and animals.
I realise in many ways she was brave when we were young, brave to let us go and make our own mistakes, whether they were falling out of a tree, walking to school on our own, learning to ride a bike, and setting us free as teenagers.
I understand as an adult who deeply loves her nieces and the young ones around her how it would be easier for a mother to love so deeply they would never let you do anything for the fear of something bad happening.
Mum chose the path of trust and faith instead of white knuckle control with a huge dose of common sense thrown in. She always said that she was just the caretaker of her children and that one day they would go on to live their own lives and she was entrusted to get them to that point and then set them free.
Mum was deeply in touch with her divine feminine, not only great at nurturing her brood but also great at receiving and allowing herself to be supported.
One of my fondest memories was Mum in a white tennis skirt! Mum was off playing tennis with her friends whilst we were at school and she thought it was the proper way to bring us up by making us contribute to the running of the house, my eldest sister helped do dinner, my youngest sister put the washing on, and my brother who could hardly reach the line, hung it out and I ironed for six people. This taught us many things as well as that you can be a mother without being a doormat.
She trusted her intuition when we were up to something and short-circuited it before it escalated into danger yet gave us enough space to develop our own personalities, intuition, and self-esteem.
I watch mum now with her grandchildren; she observes the over-sensitive ones and encourages my brothers and sisters to pay attention to them, not to push too hard or let their silences go unnoticed. She can spot the wild ones a mile away and whispers in my brothers’ and sisters’ ears on the odd occasion that maybe they need to rein them in a little or give them stronger boundaries.
She’s a child whisperer, my mum, maybe it’s because she has never disconnected from her inner child, she knows how to delight a three-year-old boy but simply taking him for a train or bus ride and to see rapture on the face of a little girl by filling a little handbag full of necklaces and shiny jewels that were in the back of the cupboard.
As a coach, I’ve learned modelling the way you do things is the strongest way we learn, even more powerful than telling someone what to do. So on this Mother’s Day, I pay tribute to my mother who has modelled day after day, year after year, her way of doing things and still loves and supports us for choosing to do life our way.
A special hug to all the Mums who tirelessly take care of their families and without you we would be lost.
Love and hugs and happy Mother’s Day.
P.S. We have an ongoing Mother’s Day offer on my print shop carlacoulsonprints.com that gives you a FREE 12 x 18-inch flower girl print if you purchase a Limited Edition print (20 x 30-inch or larger) from any of my collections. All the details here. Offer ends on Sunday, 8th May 2022.