Don’t Put Your Dreams Off Till Someday
Photo Copyright Carla Coulson
Have you ever been scrolling through your Instagram or Facebook feed and seen inspirational words, beautifully designed in a fabulous font about living your dreams or changing your life and thought ‘what a crock of s..t”? “As if”? “Maybe for someone else but I am so stuck?”
In light of what happened in Paris this weekend for the first time in a long-time I am experiencing the power of negativity, of powerful external forces affecting my mood, my outlook and the way I want to live my life. Fear has crept into my mind and I have spent 4 days trying to dispel it. When my husband is an hour late or doesn’t answer the phone, I start wondering has something happened and a horrible little film is played out in my mind till I hear from him. And of course I ask myself the big question we are all asking ourselves right now – what is the future?
You may have noticed on this blog if you have been following along for a while that there is hardly a negative word, there are no ‘hump days’ in my life, no “TGIF’s” (Thank god it’s Fridays) and no funny little photos of mugs on my desk saying “I don’t like Mondays”.
There is a very good reason for all of this. Because I don’t want negativity in my life. I love life and in particular the life I accidentally created for myself. And please don’t take this the wrong way, I am not boasting, I like to think I am humble, thankful, grateful for this fabulous life I have had the chance to live.
How can I have a hump day when I love the adventure of each day? And instead of TGIF I have OWABIF (oh what a bummer it’s Friday). And the truth about Mondays is that I have always loved Mondays cause I profoundly love what I do and I can’t wait to get to Monday and delve back into this world of creativity.
I am not Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music skipping across the hills singing and my life isn’t perfect but in the last couple of days I feel like one of the most fortunate gals on the planet.
On Sunday I went with Francesco to pay tribute to the people who died in the terrorist attacks on Paris and afterwards we sat in the sun along the Canal St Martin. I was feeling very emotional about what happened and I wanted him to know that if anything ever happened to me that I would die happy. I felt I have had more fortune than one girl can hold in her heart. I am so very grateful I have had this second chance and these past years have been more fulfilling than one could expect in 10 lifetimes.
Being pissed off enough in my old life and having a catalyst (winning the best client of the year award at my local Thai take-away) got me out of a stagnant life and it gave me the chance to find photography, to let me live in Italy and Paris and suck in big gulps of life and love everyday. It let me hang on tight to my honey on the back of a scooter on a dusty road on a remote Greek Island and wake at dawn on the Amalfi Coast.
Photography made me an observer of minute detail, of the beauty in a flower, a street corner, the way a dumpling is softly folded and the lady next door to me ties her hair. I got to go from living an “unconscious life”, feeling emotionally dead and operating on automatic, to finding me, the real Carla, same on the inside as the outside, in-person or on the internet. My great fortune was to have found me. Thank-you dear life for this gift.
The emotions I have been feeling over the past couple of days feel unnatural. I can stay contained for half-a-day or maybe a day but by the end of the day I am yearning to get outside, to be with others, to see what’s happening and to look, see and feel life.
I refuse to live in fear. I refuse to stay inside. I refuse to not feel love, to not show tolerance and to not help people in need. I refuse not to give. I refuse to be someone other than the person I am and I will work everyday as I have done in the past to live my dreams no matter how simple they are.
Seeing what happened to friends of friends in Paris this past weekend I encourage you to live for today, don’t put off your dreams till someday. Go take those dance lessons, change your hair-cut, move house, book a trip, get another cat (did I say that?), tell someone you have never dared to that you love them or whatever it is inside of you, you have always dreamed of doing.
In times like this our knee jerk reaction is to shutdown, to live in fear and put all our future plans on hold. But from out of this bad has come good, people around the world feel more united and connected than ever before.
You can surround yourself with beauty, with the life you aspire to, the people you care about, the places you want to visit by putting together a visual of your dream life, an inspiration board that you will see everyday.
My life and changing it has been made possible by two simple things, by believing in my dreams and taking a lot of action. I have held onto my dreams and morals through the good and the bad and I plan on doing the same thing whatever may come.
When I feel uneasy, unsure or anxious I actively work at dispelling the fear by bringing the feeling of happiness into my mind and heart, good memories of the past and the ones I will create in the future. I plan my future in my mind and for 15 years my thoughts have become my reality.
So next time you see one of those ‘inspirational’ message (maybe I am the annoying person posting it) know that all is possible. Maybe if it talks to you, grab it, print it out and start to believe it.
Open your heart, look for the beauty, fill your mind with positive thoughts and beautiful memories and dare to dream your biggest dream.
Sending you’re the biggest hug ever.
“Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows.” Pope Paul VI